Happy Mother's Day to Jessica and my Mom!!! And all the other mother's in the universe!!!
- Jake
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
This morning (Saturday Morning)
I hadn't slept for like two or three days until last night when I went to sleep. Gavyn slept at my parent's house last night because I hadn't slept for so long, and I didn't know what time I was going to wake up today so I didn't know if I'd wake up in time to watch him. And Jessica had to go to work at 11:00am today.
So I woke up this morning and I felt horrible. Like I didn't know who I was or anything. I soon woke up and realized who I am and who everyone I know is, but I didn't know where I was. It was 11:20am and I was very scared and it felt like I was having a panic attack, but it wasn't one. I've had a million. In all my panic attacks, I still knew where I was. But not today, and my blood pressure didn't feel high or anything, so I don't think it was anxiety. I didn't remember anything except that I knew who everyone in my family is, and who all my friends are. I didn't know where I was or anything, it was very scary. About 10 to 20 minutes later, I remembered everything, but all day I've felt weird... yikes.
Going to bed now.
So I woke up this morning and I felt horrible. Like I didn't know who I was or anything. I soon woke up and realized who I am and who everyone I know is, but I didn't know where I was. It was 11:20am and I was very scared and it felt like I was having a panic attack, but it wasn't one. I've had a million. In all my panic attacks, I still knew where I was. But not today, and my blood pressure didn't feel high or anything, so I don't think it was anxiety. I didn't remember anything except that I knew who everyone in my family is, and who all my friends are. I didn't know where I was or anything, it was very scary. About 10 to 20 minutes later, I remembered everything, but all day I've felt weird... yikes.
Going to bed now.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Tons of fun and then too much drama today
Today, Jessica, Gavyn, and I, went to Jessica's neice's birthday. It was a fun get-a-away from Newport. The temperature was probably 70 out! We had a bbq there and it was a nice party, seeing Jessica's family, etc.
Then we came home and we stopped at the Dunkin Donuts to get my usual Iced Coffee and Jessica then told me the brake was going to the floor. We go to the parking lot next door, and damn it, a river of brake fluid leaking out of a brake line. So I called my parents, no answer. How 'bout their cell phones? No answer! I was pissed. The car was leaking brake fluid like a son of a bitch. So, I drove the car home knowing the brakes could give way, at least I had some brakes and an e-brake. It wasn't too bad traffic wise, but I took it slow, in case the brakes failed. We get home and my Mom said my Dad unplugged the phone. I yelled at her so much, I mean, we could of been in an accident and not had anyone to call. I called my Mom a bitch, and she was so pissed. She came outside as I walked to my apartment and she was blabbing about "don't talk to me that way" and then I yelled at the top of my lungs, "Shut the fuck up, you fucking bitch"... God damn it. So, I get inside and the damn internet and phone is disconnected. So I went back over and the door was locked to my parents. She came to the door and I asked what the Hell is going on with the net, and she said I didn't deserve it. So I kicked my fucking parent's door in, and then left back to my apartment. My Dad came home at one point and I yelled at him, too. They don't seem to understand my anger? Jeez. Jessica and Gavyn could of gotten hurt! And my parents had their phones off! Dumb idiots. They threatened to call the cops on me because they've never seen me so mad and violent, but I'm telling you, I don't regret what I said to them, I do however regret breaking the door. I did it for a reason though. I get mad about something important, that everyone would be angry about, and they get upset at me for being mad and call fucking Verizon and shut off MY cell phone and MY internet? Idiots. My Dad was so upset with me for breaking the door, but I didn't care. My Mom was upset because I called her a bitch. They said "Psychiatrist or jail"... I chose the psychiatrist. I told them that they can pay for the bill, as well. Then I had to listen to my Dad tell me how much of a loser I am, how I never do what he says, he went on about my sleeping schedule and said tai-chi will cure me, and basically told me that I'm not a man, unless I act just as he does. How does he act? He had blood pressure of like 220 over 130, and he's shorter than me. He is very strict and stressful and always has been. He thinks he can control me, but he can't. He's a fucking jerk and I feel like punching his face everytime I see him. He has nothing nice to say to anyone, just a mouthy jerk who judges everything and everyone... only says negative things, never anything postive. He's to blame for my problems, to be honest. Both of my parents are. Mom spoiled me and Dad was a jerk to me. Everyone in my family is fucked up.
Then we came home and we stopped at the Dunkin Donuts to get my usual Iced Coffee and Jessica then told me the brake was going to the floor. We go to the parking lot next door, and damn it, a river of brake fluid leaking out of a brake line. So I called my parents, no answer. How 'bout their cell phones? No answer! I was pissed. The car was leaking brake fluid like a son of a bitch. So, I drove the car home knowing the brakes could give way, at least I had some brakes and an e-brake. It wasn't too bad traffic wise, but I took it slow, in case the brakes failed. We get home and my Mom said my Dad unplugged the phone. I yelled at her so much, I mean, we could of been in an accident and not had anyone to call. I called my Mom a bitch, and she was so pissed. She came outside as I walked to my apartment and she was blabbing about "don't talk to me that way" and then I yelled at the top of my lungs, "Shut the fuck up, you fucking bitch"... God damn it. So, I get inside and the damn internet and phone is disconnected. So I went back over and the door was locked to my parents. She came to the door and I asked what the Hell is going on with the net, and she said I didn't deserve it. So I kicked my fucking parent's door in, and then left back to my apartment. My Dad came home at one point and I yelled at him, too. They don't seem to understand my anger? Jeez. Jessica and Gavyn could of gotten hurt! And my parents had their phones off! Dumb idiots. They threatened to call the cops on me because they've never seen me so mad and violent, but I'm telling you, I don't regret what I said to them, I do however regret breaking the door. I did it for a reason though. I get mad about something important, that everyone would be angry about, and they get upset at me for being mad and call fucking Verizon and shut off MY cell phone and MY internet? Idiots. My Dad was so upset with me for breaking the door, but I didn't care. My Mom was upset because I called her a bitch. They said "Psychiatrist or jail"... I chose the psychiatrist. I told them that they can pay for the bill, as well. Then I had to listen to my Dad tell me how much of a loser I am, how I never do what he says, he went on about my sleeping schedule and said tai-chi will cure me, and basically told me that I'm not a man, unless I act just as he does. How does he act? He had blood pressure of like 220 over 130, and he's shorter than me. He is very strict and stressful and always has been. He thinks he can control me, but he can't. He's a fucking jerk and I feel like punching his face everytime I see him. He has nothing nice to say to anyone, just a mouthy jerk who judges everything and everyone... only says negative things, never anything postive. He's to blame for my problems, to be honest. Both of my parents are. Mom spoiled me and Dad was a jerk to me. Everyone in my family is fucked up.
Friday, April 24, 2009
What is there to do?
There's nothing to do! Eeek. I'm bored. Tomorrow is Jessica's neice's birthday party, so we'll be at that event, in Claremont. Today I hardly did anything except smoke a ton of cigarettes. Yeah, I was bored and still am. I'm not too depressed, but I just get in these moods where I feel like nothing can cure me from being bored, and I end up feeling like I'll be bored forever. I can't think of anything of importance to write about, no place to go, nothing to do at all. It's irratating a bit.
And I'm waiting for the House, M.D. season 5 DVD to come out. I'm getting a bit impatient about that. I've watched every other House DVD seasons 1-4 ... like 3 times each, and it's around 24 hours a season, so it's hundreds of hours I've watched.
I got a new book as an early 3 year anniversary gift from Jessica. It's Stephen King's 'Just After Sunset' and it has many nice short stories in it. I've been reading it already, and it's a great book, I love it!
Well that's all for now, 'cause I'm fucking bored.
And I'm waiting for the House, M.D. season 5 DVD to come out. I'm getting a bit impatient about that. I've watched every other House DVD seasons 1-4 ... like 3 times each, and it's around 24 hours a season, so it's hundreds of hours I've watched.
I got a new book as an early 3 year anniversary gift from Jessica. It's Stephen King's 'Just After Sunset' and it has many nice short stories in it. I've been reading it already, and it's a great book, I love it!
Well that's all for now, 'cause I'm fucking bored.
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